GMAT Essays (AWA) :: First essay. Suggestions/Feedback?
Author:
ragskashyap
Subject: First essay. Suggestions/Feedback?
Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:29 pm (GMT -8)
"Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A 'flat' organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees".
Essay:
Many corporations and businesses believe that salary grades should be used to classify employees according to their experience and expertise. However, in this discussion I would like to present the advantage and benefits of having a 'flat' organization.
One of the major foundations for the success of the company "W.L. Gore" it its flat hierarchy. The company believes strongly that the employees would collaborate and work together well in an organization without hierarchy. This structure enables employees of "W.L.Gore" to openly communicate with other employees and work seamlessly. The end result is that "W.L. Gore" has posted record sales year over year.
One other company where the 'flat organization has worked very well is "Google". In this company teams are organized in to small groups with same level of people. People tend to work very well in this fashion. The profits reported by Google and the soaring stock price clearly shows the benefits of having a 'flat' organization.
On the contrary a company with hierarchical structure has its own share of issues. In an organization communication among employees is very critical. With an Hierarchical structure employees tend to hold back and not communicate easily with their managers. This kind of environment is not very productive. There are a number of companies that operate in this manner and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
One of the key drawbacks of the organization with hierarchical structure is that they tend of have many layers of employees based on their experience and expertise. In this age and era experience & expertise is not the only factor which can be based to classify employees.
Read more...
Subject: First essay. Suggestions/Feedback?
Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:29 pm (GMT -8)
"Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A 'flat' organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees".
Essay:
Many corporations and businesses believe that salary grades should be used to classify employees according to their experience and expertise. However, in this discussion I would like to present the advantage and benefits of having a 'flat' organization.
One of the major foundations for the success of the company "W.L. Gore" it its flat hierarchy. The company believes strongly that the employees would collaborate and work together well in an organization without hierarchy. This structure enables employees of "W.L.Gore" to openly communicate with other employees and work seamlessly. The end result is that "W.L. Gore" has posted record sales year over year.
One other company where the 'flat organization has worked very well is "Google". In this company teams are organized in to small groups with same level of people. People tend to work very well in this fashion. The profits reported by Google and the soaring stock price clearly shows the benefits of having a 'flat' organization.
On the contrary a company with hierarchical structure has its own share of issues. In an organization communication among employees is very critical. With an Hierarchical structure employees tend to hold back and not communicate easily with their managers. This kind of environment is not very productive. There are a number of companies that operate in this manner and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
One of the key drawbacks of the organization with hierarchical structure is that they tend of have many layers of employees based on their experience and expertise. In this age and era experience & expertise is not the only factor which can be based to classify employees.
GMAT Essays (AWA) :: RE: argument essay
Author:
sfd2102
Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:05 pm (GMT -8)
I think the main weakness is that the data implies causation but is more likely a result of correlation. (e.g. As ice cream sales increase, the rate of drowning deaths increases sharply. Therefore, ice cream causes drowning. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causation )
The most likely explanation of the data is that major customers (those that spend in excess of $100) are more likely to check for and use coupons when they go to the grocery.
Read more...
Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:05 pm (GMT -8)
I think the main weakness is that the data implies causation but is more likely a result of correlation. (e.g. As ice cream sales increase, the rate of drowning deaths increases sharply. Therefore, ice cream causes drowning. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causation )
The most likely explanation of the data is that major customers (those that spend in excess of $100) are more likely to check for and use coupons when they go to the grocery.
GMAT Essays (AWA) :: argument essay use of computers in schools
Author:
themaharaja1
Subject: argument essay use of computers in schools
Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:36 pm (GMT -8)
The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
answer
Above statement is about benefits achieved by Nova High School by using interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The author is suggesting that similar strategy should be applied by all schools in the district. The author's main line of defense seems to be immediate reduction in dropout rate and impressive achievements of last year’s graduates. After deep analysis I think that statement is incomplete and one cannot make any decision based upon it.
First of all, the author needs to provide more data. For example, the author needs to provide performance of last year’s graduates in three subjects in which interactive computer instructions were used. That data will enable a reader to judge whether interactive computer instructions really helped student to boost their performance. Moreover, the author needs to provide the data which will prove causation-result relationship between interactive computer instructions and improved performance at school. As school dropout rate declined immediately, it could be that reduction in dropout rate was due to reasons other than interactive computer instructions. For Instance increased awareness among parents or political help could be probable reasons for reduced graduation rate.
Secondly, the author needs to support his indirect claim that use of interactive computer instruction in other areas of district will be useful. For instance, it could be that Nova High School is in poor area of the district and parents in that area cannot afford computers at home. Or it could be that Nova High School doesn't have good teachers and as a result interactive computer instructions were successful. The author should also provide actual cost figures of computer price, interactive computer instructions price and school budgets. If cost of a computer or interactive computer instructions consumes high percentage of school's budget then schools cannot spend their budget on these facilities. Schools have to give first priority to their basic needs and expenses.
Overall, I think that it will be very helpful if the author does the survey among the students regarding effectiveness of interactive computer instruction and publishes that result. The result will prove causation-result relationship rather than correlation by chance. Above result along with data mentioned in above paragraphs will strengthen the statement and will help other schools to make correct decision.
Read more...
Subject: argument essay use of computers in schools
Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:36 pm (GMT -8)
The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
answer
Above statement is about benefits achieved by Nova High School by using interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The author is suggesting that similar strategy should be applied by all schools in the district. The author's main line of defense seems to be immediate reduction in dropout rate and impressive achievements of last year’s graduates. After deep analysis I think that statement is incomplete and one cannot make any decision based upon it.
First of all, the author needs to provide more data. For example, the author needs to provide performance of last year’s graduates in three subjects in which interactive computer instructions were used. That data will enable a reader to judge whether interactive computer instructions really helped student to boost their performance. Moreover, the author needs to provide the data which will prove causation-result relationship between interactive computer instructions and improved performance at school. As school dropout rate declined immediately, it could be that reduction in dropout rate was due to reasons other than interactive computer instructions. For Instance increased awareness among parents or political help could be probable reasons for reduced graduation rate.
Secondly, the author needs to support his indirect claim that use of interactive computer instruction in other areas of district will be useful. For instance, it could be that Nova High School is in poor area of the district and parents in that area cannot afford computers at home. Or it could be that Nova High School doesn't have good teachers and as a result interactive computer instructions were successful. The author should also provide actual cost figures of computer price, interactive computer instructions price and school budgets. If cost of a computer or interactive computer instructions consumes high percentage of school's budget then schools cannot spend their budget on these facilities. Schools have to give first priority to their basic needs and expenses.
Overall, I think that it will be very helpful if the author does the survey among the students regarding effectiveness of interactive computer instruction and publishes that result. The result will prove causation-result relationship rather than correlation by chance. Above result along with data mentioned in above paragraphs will strengthen the statement and will help other schools to make correct decision.
GMAT Essays (AWA) :: moderators pls grade!
Author:
themaharaja1
Subject: moderators pls grade!
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:57 am (GMT -8)
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
“Commuter use of the new subway train is exceeding the transit company’s projections. However, commuter use of the shuttle buses that transport people to the subway stations is below the projected volume. If the transit company expects commuters to ride the shuttle buses to the subway rather than drive there, it must either reduce the shuttle bus fares or increase the price of parking at the subway stations.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
answer:
Above statement is about how commuter use of the shuttle buses can be increased. Author's main line of defense seems to be that high bus fare or cheap parking price are main reasons for reduced usage and if the transit company takes care of these issues then usage will increase. After deep analysis I think that the statement in incomplete and it is based on few assumptions. I wouldn't recommend taking any actions unless the required data is provided.
First of all, the author of the statement needs to provide actual numbers of projections of train and bus usage against actual numbers of usage. Actual figures will help a reader to understand the difference between projections and actual usage. If difference is very low, for example, if difference between actual usage and projections is less than 2 percent in both cases then it might be advisable to ignore the data completely. Moreover, the author should also prove that projection numbers are correct and those numbers are not based upon any wrong assumptions. For example, while calculating projections for bus usage, the transit company could have made few assumptions which are wrong and therefore, projections figures are skewed.
Secondly, the author should support with actual data that high bus fare or cheap parking price are real reasons behind the reduced usage of buses. There could be other reasons for lower usage. For example, lots of people stay near stations and they prefer walking to train stations or people don't prefer buses because buses are slow and as compared to cars they took long time to reach stations. In such cases reducing bus fare or raising parking space won't affect usage of buses.
Thirdly, it will be helpful if the statement puts forward reasons for which the transit company should seek more usage of buses. In fact, it could be that the transit company is not at all interested in usage of buses. For example, if the transit company is not expecting any profit at all from usage of buses then the transit company won't pay any attention to the author's suggestion. On the other hand, if the author puts forward benefits of increased bus usage then the transit company will take more interest in the author's suggestion.
Overall, I think it will be useful if the author does a survey among users of buses and trains to understand reasons of lower bus usage. The result of survey along with data mentioned in above paragraphs will validate accuracy of above statement. Entire data will also enable the transit company to take proper steps to increase usage of buses.
Read more...
Subject: moderators pls grade!
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:57 am (GMT -8)
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
“Commuter use of the new subway train is exceeding the transit company’s projections. However, commuter use of the shuttle buses that transport people to the subway stations is below the projected volume. If the transit company expects commuters to ride the shuttle buses to the subway rather than drive there, it must either reduce the shuttle bus fares or increase the price of parking at the subway stations.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
answer:
Above statement is about how commuter use of the shuttle buses can be increased. Author's main line of defense seems to be that high bus fare or cheap parking price are main reasons for reduced usage and if the transit company takes care of these issues then usage will increase. After deep analysis I think that the statement in incomplete and it is based on few assumptions. I wouldn't recommend taking any actions unless the required data is provided.
First of all, the author of the statement needs to provide actual numbers of projections of train and bus usage against actual numbers of usage. Actual figures will help a reader to understand the difference between projections and actual usage. If difference is very low, for example, if difference between actual usage and projections is less than 2 percent in both cases then it might be advisable to ignore the data completely. Moreover, the author should also prove that projection numbers are correct and those numbers are not based upon any wrong assumptions. For example, while calculating projections for bus usage, the transit company could have made few assumptions which are wrong and therefore, projections figures are skewed.
Secondly, the author should support with actual data that high bus fare or cheap parking price are real reasons behind the reduced usage of buses. There could be other reasons for lower usage. For example, lots of people stay near stations and they prefer walking to train stations or people don't prefer buses because buses are slow and as compared to cars they took long time to reach stations. In such cases reducing bus fare or raising parking space won't affect usage of buses.
Thirdly, it will be helpful if the statement puts forward reasons for which the transit company should seek more usage of buses. In fact, it could be that the transit company is not at all interested in usage of buses. For example, if the transit company is not expecting any profit at all from usage of buses then the transit company won't pay any attention to the author's suggestion. On the other hand, if the author puts forward benefits of increased bus usage then the transit company will take more interest in the author's suggestion.
Overall, I think it will be useful if the author does a survey among users of buses and trains to understand reasons of lower bus usage. The result of survey along with data mentioned in above paragraphs will validate accuracy of above statement. Entire data will also enable the transit company to take proper steps to increase usage of buses.
GMAT Essays (AWA) :: final outcome vs underlying process issue essay..pls grade i
Author:
themaharaja1
Subject: final outcome vs underlying process issue essay..pls grade i
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:18 pm (GMT -8)
Question
“In any enterprise, the process of making or doing something is ultimately more important than the final product.” Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
Answer
Earning profit is the main goal of any business. Without profit it is difficult to survive in the market and chances are that investors will also loose confidence in the enterprise and finally it will cause enterprise to shut down completely. Therefore I think that in any enterprise the final product (profit and success of the company) is more important than anything. In following paragraphs I would like to provide examples and statements which will support my views.
I would start with the example of Henry Ford and Ford Motor Company. Henry Ford came up with idea of assembly line where at every station fix work will be done and no one would be required to apply huge brain power to do that fix work. The idea was really creative and made Ford Company one of the biggest automobile manufacturer of it's era. But no one gave much importance to the fact that doing same work entire day was very difficult for assembly line workers. Workers found it very boring to keep repeating their actions. After all, workers are not robots. Henry Ford faced lot of issues to retain his work force. Even Charlie Chaplin made a movie (something like "man and a machine") which was about miserable life of workers working on assembly line. Then also history considers Henry Ford a great businessman because his company was able to make profit and do record sales.
Moreover, I would also like to talk about recent examples such Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers and R. Tata, Head of Tata Motors, India. Steve Jobs changed design of Apple Iphone just few days before the release. He didn't care the fact that whole design team and supply network has work hard to get design. In fact he ordered to have new design before the earlier announced date of product launch. In short, Steve Jobs was more interested in final product than process underlying it. Similar to earlier example, Tata Motors, leading auto manufacturer of India, came with the idea of four wheeler at the very low cost of two thousand dollars. Indian government and even normal people gave lots of support to Tata Motors. But later on it was revealed that Tata has used unethical ways to achieve land and man power for their factory site in West Bengal, India. Obviously Tata Motors was more interested in results (starting factory and earning profit) than the process.
Therefore, I think that importance is always given to final product than the process. But increased awareness among labor unions, customers and government rules and regulations are trying to ensure that not only the final product but process underlying it is also important. This change is positive and chances are that we will achieve "ethical" outcomes out of it.
Read more...
Subject: final outcome vs underlying process issue essay..pls grade i
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:18 pm (GMT -8)
Question
“In any enterprise, the process of making or doing something is ultimately more important than the final product.” Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
Answer
Earning profit is the main goal of any business. Without profit it is difficult to survive in the market and chances are that investors will also loose confidence in the enterprise and finally it will cause enterprise to shut down completely. Therefore I think that in any enterprise the final product (profit and success of the company) is more important than anything. In following paragraphs I would like to provide examples and statements which will support my views.
I would start with the example of Henry Ford and Ford Motor Company. Henry Ford came up with idea of assembly line where at every station fix work will be done and no one would be required to apply huge brain power to do that fix work. The idea was really creative and made Ford Company one of the biggest automobile manufacturer of it's era. But no one gave much importance to the fact that doing same work entire day was very difficult for assembly line workers. Workers found it very boring to keep repeating their actions. After all, workers are not robots. Henry Ford faced lot of issues to retain his work force. Even Charlie Chaplin made a movie (something like "man and a machine") which was about miserable life of workers working on assembly line. Then also history considers Henry Ford a great businessman because his company was able to make profit and do record sales.
Moreover, I would also like to talk about recent examples such Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers and R. Tata, Head of Tata Motors, India. Steve Jobs changed design of Apple Iphone just few days before the release. He didn't care the fact that whole design team and supply network has work hard to get design. In fact he ordered to have new design before the earlier announced date of product launch. In short, Steve Jobs was more interested in final product than process underlying it. Similar to earlier example, Tata Motors, leading auto manufacturer of India, came with the idea of four wheeler at the very low cost of two thousand dollars. Indian government and even normal people gave lots of support to Tata Motors. But later on it was revealed that Tata has used unethical ways to achieve land and man power for their factory site in West Bengal, India. Obviously Tata Motors was more interested in results (starting factory and earning profit) than the process.
Therefore, I think that importance is always given to final product than the process. But increased awareness among labor unions, customers and government rules and regulations are trying to ensure that not only the final product but process underlying it is also important. This change is positive and chances are that we will achieve "ethical" outcomes out of it.
Headline
GMAT Essays (AWA) :: RE: Please rate my essay and provide valuable comments
Author:
themaharaja1
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:19 pm (GMT -8)
hey i am not an expert of essays...i have been struggling to get score of even 5...but i think ur essay is good and should get 5.5/6
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:19 pm (GMT -8)
hey i am not an expert of essays...i have been struggling to get score of even 5...but i think ur essay is good and should get 5.5/6
GMAT Essays (AWA) :: RE: Argument - Please Grade and leave comments
Author:
themaharaja1
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:21 pm (GMT -8)
i think u deserve score 5-5.5....
i didn't give u six because you haven't written enough explanantion for each para....but i am not the expert and might be wrong
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:21 pm (GMT -8)
i think u deserve score 5-5.5....
i didn't give u six because you haven't written enough explanantion for each para....but i am not the expert and might be wrong
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